The Feel-Good Hit of the Year by Liam Pieper

Author:Liam Pieper
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781743481912
Publisher: Penguin Group Australia
Published: 2014-04-29T04:00:00+00:00

Later, at home, I lay in bed, my heart rattling my ribcage. I was afraid to sleep, convinced that if I closed my eyes, I would drift off and never wake up. I thought sadly of my parents finding me in the morning, cold and grey, stretched out on my futon. A great iceberg of anxiety shuddered through my chest and an inexplicable sorrow settled over me. Although I’d smoked a bit of pot when I was younger and taken the occasional pill, I’d never snorted anything before.

I didn’t know Ardian had done heroin until after his death. That was a foreign world to me, one I’d never had an interest in. In my mind, drugs could be divided into a neat binary: heroin, coke, all the powdered drugs that came in sinister little bags, and then everything else. The two or three lines of coke I’d done that night felt like a transgression: I’d dipped into something grown-up and wrong, and I’d get my comeuppance. I lay paralysed by grief, for my imminent death, for my parents, for my surviving brother, for the years I wouldn’t have.

Eventually, I closed my eyes and when I opened them again it was the morning, and my mum was hurrying me to get ready for school. I hadn’t been dying; I was just coming down. All I needed to do was another bump, and then another half an hour after that, and to just keep doing that every day until I graduated high school, then, for a lark, the next decade. Live and learn.

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